The One that Got Away

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom
you shared something special, ones who will always mean something.
There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one
you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one
you're with... and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who
everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was
just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in
the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I
suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a
longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I
can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater
part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you
being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes
beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When
you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter
who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big;
inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready
and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no
good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become
the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens
you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be
the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to
ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready.
It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And
it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and
you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different,
your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and
what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly
arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come.
Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term
relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't
matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason,
the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were
here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me
as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The
biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one
that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you
think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But
hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with
the one you're with and this is just another test of your
commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you
get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but
it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but
it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In
which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know
that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little
smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and
reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you
do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because
the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always
wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if
you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just
might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is
your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a
difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into
place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great
feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're
the one that ALMOST got away."


From: Tomboc, Kriss
Sent: Tuesday, July 19, 2005 8:58 AM